Mirror what you believe
There is a story about a wise man who knew that he had the insights, skills and talents to transform thousands of people. With his fiery inspiration, he thought that he would be able to affect his entire city for the good. Some time went by and he was not satisfied with the results so he decided to change everyone in his community. After some more time, he was not satisfied so he focused on his family. A little more time elapsed and he finally settled on the best strategy – he would start with himself.
Unless you are a hermit sequestered off from the rest of humanity, you are probably interacting with a lot of different people on a daily basis. If you’re like me, you probably notice things about others that you wish they wouldn’t do. If you’re really honest, you probably also notice things about yourself that you wish you wouldn’t do.
Somehow, when it comes to others, we expect them to change instantly. When it comes to ourselves, we’re a lot more patient with our own shortcomings. Is it possible to take some practical steps where we can make positive changes within ourselves and even be seen as models for those behaviors?
Here is a practical approach that can bring about some fantastic results. Like all good ideas, reading this alone won’t get you there. As an experiential facilitator, I highly encourage you to try this out and see what happens.
We often go through a similar process when our clients are focusing on the values that they would like to incorporate in their own teams.
- Think of a value that is important to you in your life. This value should be consistent in your home life and your work life.
- Example – Communicating openly and honestly
- Make a decision that you will work on this value for the entire week by rating yourself as to how well you are doing in the morning, afternoon and evening.
- Choose a convenient way that you will note how you are doing by rating yourself on a 1-10 scale (1 – Nowhere to go but up; 10 – I’m at the top)
- Many people like to send themselves texts to note their process. Include any notes that are meaningful to you.
- At the end of the day, before you go to sleep, review your texts and think about how you did.
- Continue this for the entire week and decide if you are satisfied with your overall rating.
- Are there any circumstances which affect your score?
- Is there anyone in your work or personal life that you see as an excellent model for this value?
- Would you be willing to tell that person that you admire the way they demonstrate that value?
- If there is room for improvement, would you be willing to ask that person what they do to live that value so well?
- Would you be willing to further investigate how you can improve that value?
- If you like this process, would you be willing to continue this for the following week. You could continue with the same value or choose another area you would like to grow.
One of the magic moments of this process occurs when you tell someone else that you admire the way you see them living that value in their life. Not only is it a super positive and personal way to share something meaningful with them , it also creates an alliance between you and that person. You’re no longer alone , but have gained an ally for yourself, perhaps even a mentor.
You also will be modeling behaviors, that hopefully will positively affect others around you.
To your success!
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